Native Texas Weddings

Greetings Lovers!

August 25th, 2011 by revcindy

Could be you who says, "I do"!

Rev. Cindy of Native Texas Weddings invites you to call her today to schedule an appointment to discuss your wedding needs! (903) 257-8008

Informal and Formal Weddings
Ceremonies written especially for you to meet you individual needs

MARRIAGES ARE PERFORMED AT THE ESTABLISHMENT OF YOUR CHOICE
or you may have your wedding at Native Texas Weddings located in Navarro County, Texas.

If you are thinking of having your ceremony at the courthouse, the church said, “No” to your request, or you simply want to elope…call us today!

Will you be the groom who says, "I do"?

Ceremony Cost includes:

Your initial meeting to choose and personalize your wedding ceremony, a copy of your certified marriage document, paid document fees, a beautiful engraved stone with your wedding date and bride/groom name – a keepsake that will never fade away…a solid remembrance of your special time!

Rehearsals available, no counseling required (BUT it is an important step in your marriage preparation). PA sound system available. No one will miss hearing your lovely ceremony or beautiful vows…

Book your wedding in 2012 & you could win a $50 Prepaid Visa Gift Card

If you book and hold your wedding at Native Texas Weddings location, you will automatically be entered into a contest to win a $50.00 prepaid Visa Gift Card! The lucky couple will be announced on December 31, 2012. Just send me an email at revcindy5683@yahoo.com and say, “I’m ready to book my wedding in 2012. Be sure to register me for a chance to win Fifty-Dollars Gift Card to spend any way I choose!”

Magical or Tragical Wedding?

November 6th, 2011 by revcindy

Most often, a bride and groom have ideas about their wedding that family members frown upon. They don’t want to see their parental units throwing a hissy-fit, so the happy bride and groom cave-in to keep the peace. If this sounds familiar, read on.

I know you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but after all it’s your wedding. In all honesty dear ones ~ you are not responsible for other people’s feelings.

We are each responsible for our own thoughts and the feelings they evoke. The choices that come out of these actions belong to each individual. Once again, you are not responsible for anyone’s feelings but your own.

Nothing can prepare you for the madness a wedding promulgates. Friends, parents, and vendors trap you into believing you must follow a certain set of rules or guidelines. They may attempt to emotionally blackmail you into changing your mind about the way your wedding should be. Truly, it happens all the time.

Stay strong, bride and groom, and be a united front.

Remember, it’s your wedding day, and it’s about you and your beloved; about your wants, wishes and desires. It’s your time, so remember it is not up to you to please everyone. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself. Surely, be kind, understanding and lenient. Agreeing to wear your mother’s pearls is one thing, but getting married in her church, which you do not attend it, is another.

Make your wedding day a joyous occasion through the choices you make together. It’s one of the first times as a couple you are able to ‘show the world’ you are doing it your way. Everyone else has had their time…your married life can be designed around your desires. We aren’t designed to live backwards, what happened to Uncle Jim at his outdoor wedding or to poor Bobbie Sue getting married at the JP’s office are mute points is either of these choices are you; so don’t focus on anything but your thoughts. Our thoughts create, right? So choose the best ones!

Knowing this upfront can prevent you from living your married life by trying to keep everyone else happy ~ while you are not. From this moment forward, live from a place of choice. Turn your wedding into magical instead of tragical!!!

Bright Blessings,

Rev. Cindy
Native Texas Weddings

Magical or Tragical Wedding? It's your choice!

No Comments / Posted in Sunday Posts

Love Language of Words of Affirmation

October 4th, 2011 by revcindy

The language of love to be discussed today is Words of Affirmation. Words of Affirmation validate the one receiving these words of appreciation. Validation is ultimately important to the one whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation.

Encouraging (Inspiring) Words:
All of us have moments in our lives when we lack courage; and when we lack courage we feel insecure. Encouragement requires empathy and seeing from your beloved’s point of view. It may be difficult for you to use encouraging words, especially if it’s not your love language. If you have the habit of being critical and condemning, you will be greatly rewarded if you learn to use the love language of Words of Affirmation.

Take a moment to think about an endeavor your partner desires to accomplish, but just hasn’t been able to. How supportive have you been? Have you been critical? If you’ve issued forth a critical comment to your partner, it’s one of the most contemptuous things you could do to a person who thrives on Words of Affirmation. Have you verbally encouraged your beloved by communicating that you care, that you are there for he/she, offering help (but not specific, just I’m here for you if you need me), and being a good listener. When you listen, you will discover not only what is being said, but what is truly at the root of the issue. Look into the eyes, feel the energy surrounding your partner…simply listen but do it with all of your being.

Have you seen your beloved gain weight over a period of time, and your choice of getting he/she to lose it is to berate them? “I remember when you used to wear a size 8″, or, “I recall you had such a sleek waistline”. Some people look at these words as encouraging; however, it’s really undue pressure on a person who is already feeling less than and very insecure. Words like these express rejection, not loving acceptance. Put yourself in his/her shoes, look at the world as seen through his/her eyes…what is it that scares this person…how does he/she feel about themselves? Listen and hear what is being told to you with no words at all.

Kind Words:
If you are angry at your spouse or beloved, do you respond with hatefulness or with respect? To a person with Words of Affirmation as their love language, you’d better learn to speak out of love even if you are upset. If you speak harshly, due to your inability to control yourself, the energy behind the words can crush this person who seeks affirmations of love through words. Words are power-filled, right? In a heated moment is your intention to crush the person or reconcile? Affirm your relationship or infuse with fear? Control or support individuality?

Humble Words:
Do you make requests or demands of your beloved? Hmmmm….. “A request creates the possibility for an expression of love, whereas a demand suffocates that possibility.” (Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages) The only way to find out what your partner wants is by communicating in a love-affirming manner. Same can be said about the way to communicate your desires to your partner. Lovingly guide your partner to meet your desires…never give an ultimatum – that’s simply crass behavior. Being humble with your requests shows your partner respect and affirms his/her worthiness. The element of choice operates through a request. If Words of Affirmation is not your primary love language, learn to speak gently because these words offer healing to the soul of your partner who yearns for validation through Words of Affirmation.

Another tip: Speak kind words about your partner to others. If you do this often enough, it will get around to your partner that you were saying nice things about them. What a boost to their morale, and your life will suddenly be richer and more meaningful that you ever thought possible.

Their love tank is full!

3 Comments / Posted in Sunday Posts

Language of Love: Physical Touch

September 26th, 2011 by revcindy

Loving support through physical touch.

Physical touch is a power-filled love language; and for many it is the primary communicating vehicle for both receiving and giving love. Many men will say that their love language is absolutely, without a doubt physical touch, when what they really mean is sex is foremost in their minds. Sex, while a important aspect in a loving, committed relationship and part of the physical language of love, does not cover all the aspects of Physical Touch. Other aspects of Physical Touch are holding hands, hugging, massages, foot rubs, pats on the back, kisses, gentle squeezes, foreplay, and sexual intercourse.

For the person whose primary love language is Physical Touch, they must receive it to feel loved. With it, they feel emotionally fulfilled and secure in their relationship; without it they starve for emotional validation.

Physically loving our partner can be disheartening if Physical Touch is not our primary love language. Developing implicit touching tactics, such as bear hugs and gentle squeezes, or under the table foot play and holding hands, takes time and effort to develop. And, if you are truly devoted to your spouse and she/he loves massages, it would benefit you both to take a massage class to meet that need. If you are meeting the needs of your spouse or loved one, your life will be wonderful and fulfilling for you both.

Let’s say, you are not a “touchy-feely” person. Your family didn’t raise you that way, and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Well, that’s a lousy reason not to meet your spouse’s need. You say, “I give her everything she asked for. I’m always bringing her flowers and little gifts from time to time. That should be enough.” Really? Not if your spouse’s primary love language is Physical Touch. The gifts are nice, but not what I long for — so just touch me.

If you find yourself in this category, revisit your ideas, Okay? Loving your spouse is not about YOU it’s about your loved one. Most of us don’t want to step outside our comfort zone, and the majority of the time we don’t. We stay within our familiar boundaries and then substitute your need for what your loved one’s needs are. You are limiting your possibilities of joy when you do that not to mention the broken-heart of your spouse.

He just doesn’t love me anyway. We used to hold hands and snuggle on the couch. Now he doesn’t reach out to me at night and sometimes I only get two hugs per day. Now to some that is fine; bring me a bouquet of flowers and I’m happy. To a person whose primary love language is Physical Touch, it is communicating loving her is no longer important.

Think about when you meet a business person or new acquaintance. You shake hands, right? If you didn’t shake hands, what message would you be delivering?

Your tender touches will sustain a person with the primary love language of Physical Touch. It’s his or her emotional lifeline.

Below is one of the most beautiful pieces of love poetry every written can be found in the Song of Songs:

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth…His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me…How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts are like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. May the wine go straight to my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth.

If your primary love language is Physical Touch, and you are having difficulties getting your lover to respond, let’s talk about it. If your partner’s primary love language is Physical Touch and you’re having a hard time meeting his/her needs, let’s talk about it.

Do not deprive one another the respect love possesses in all its forms.

Bright Blessings,

Rev. Cindy

No Comments / Tags: engaged, engaged couples, feet, hands, hugging, hugs, kiss, kissing, lips, love language, loving relationship, Marriage, married couples, newly engaged, physical touch, snuggle, Song of Songs / Posted in Sunday Posts

Expectancy and Expectations

September 11th, 2011 by revcindy

I’ve been dealing with technical issues this week; my wireless hot spot, laptop, and cell phone. I was on the telephone with my wireless internet provider for over 2 hours on 2 different days. On the first day, the customer service representative decided that the unit must be faulty, and, they sent me a new one. I set it up according to the directions, let it charge the right amount of time, and happily turned it on all the while envisioning an available internet connection. Unhappily, however, I called the provider again because of a different problem, and still no internet. (I’m in school and have a business to run, so I’ve just gotta have the internet; right?)

On the second day, the first customer service rep was unable to help me (after 2.5 hours), so I was transferred to Technical Support. I left that telephone call in tears, because the technical support person was so incredibly rude, and the problem was still unresolved. After I gathered my composure, I called again. This time I spoke with 4 different provider helpers. They finally decided to give my case to the “troubleshooting” department, and I would get to wait another 2 days for them to troubleshoot. Now, I have a life to live, so what’s a girl to do? Well, I went to Radio Shack and told them my problem. After a 2 minute conversation with a customer service person, I was told that the wireless card in my laptop seemed to be broken. The customer service person suggested I purchase a wireless adapter, which I did. I went back home, followed the wireless adapter’s directions, and voila perfect internet reception.

Hmm…The problem was with MY system NOT the OTHER guys. As I sat mulling over these events, I realized that each person in a relationship is in a customer service role. Think about it — the problem was with MY system not THEIRS. How many times is that true for you — it’s your problem not mine? “I don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t have one.” “Let me tell you the way it’s going to be.” “I assumed you expected the same thing out of our relationship that I did. What happened?” “We’ve talked about this a hundred time, and I expect you to…”

There’s a quote from the 12-step program I’d like to share: “Unrealistic Expectations are Premeditated Resentment.” It’s unrealistic, isn’t it, to expect others to completely meet our needs?

The customer service people followed the script created by the provider to work with customers who experience issues; and these CS reps did just that. Step by step; just the way they were taught. The one techie who was rude wasn’t taught to be rude, but over a period of time her own frustrations and “stuff” merged together creating rudeness. It wasn’t personally directed at me; it was simply the state of awareness she was operating from that day. I took it personally, because my “expectations” were for a CS rep to be kind, understanding, and helpful. The problem was with my expectation…and my expectations did indeed cause resentment. I resented the fact that my expectation was not met. Hasn’t this happened to you, as well? Like daily?

In a premarital or marital relationship, it’s important to know the difference between expectation and expectancy. They are quite different states to be operating from. An expectation is state of anticipated outcome. Expectancy is the frame of mind or state of anticipating something will happen. We expect our partner to perform their spousely duties in a certain way to meet our expectations — let’s say to make us feel safe, happy, sexy, financially secure, etc. And then we feel let down because our expectations weren’t met when all along the problem lies within ourselves. We can’t expect anyone besides ourselves to meet our own expectations. But we can live in a state of expectancy because we are in a state of anticipating what’s next. It’s mysterious and sexy. I find that operating from expectancy there’s an excitement; and operating from expectation issues forth rules that must not be broken — resentment enters the room and the scene changes.

In the book, “The Shack”, there’s a great passage about expectation and expectancy on page 205 . Check it out:

“If you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that ‘expectancy’ to an ‘expectation’–spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends are supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend…expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value.”

If you are in like, in love, have a crush or in the winter years of your marriage, love from the state of expectancy for a fulfilling relationship. From expectancy love is able to flow and flourish. When problems arise, and they will, don’t set your beloved up for failure by expecting anything at all. You can more easily work out issues from the state of expectancy because you will be operating from a place of unlimited freedom and acceptance. Expectations create boundaries with their step by step directions leading you to failure. Value your relationships and go with the flow; love is unlimited and boundless.

Be a good customer service representative to those you are in relationship with. Throw away your script, and choose to live from a state of expectancy!

Bright Blessings,

Rev. Cindy

No Comments / Tags: bride, engaged, expectancy, expectation, expectations, friends, friendship, groom, in love, Love, Marriage, married, relationship, Relationships / Posted in Sunday Posts

Joys of Premarital Education

September 3rd, 2011 by revcindy

Wedding Ritual

As an engaged couple sits gazing into their partners’ eyes answering questions in a premarital education class, I still sigh and smile. I know the part of the relationship they are in is one of deep biological passion and sweet heart-felt love. So much love is taken to the altar with physical feelings trailing along creating opportunities for love the bloom.

They get into their limousine looking back at the guests who are all waving goodbye as they shout “congratulations”. Everything at the wedding went very well. The honeymoon destination is exactly as planned. But, the bride sheds small tears as she looks into her husband’s eyes for calming reassurance, but sees a bewildered look instead. Gasp! Why is she crying? OMG! What is he bewildered?

Before the wedding there was so much excitement, and now the wedding-bell blues arrive. She responds one way and he another. As they once again gaze into each others eyes, do they know how to respond with love or do they react through fear? Have they learned the differences? Are they able to complain and not criticize; or, criticize without contempt? In the midst of a disagreement – and there will be a few – are you, a newlywed so much in love, able to step away from the emotionally charged moment and figure out what is truly at the root of the outburst? A past fear or regret? Have you been trained to “say what you mean and understand what you hear?”

George Sala aptly said, “It is difficult not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

Truth is most engaged couples prepare for their weddings more than their marriage. The $50-billion-a-year-wedding industry can attest to that fact. More than one million copies of bridal magazines are sold each month, focusing on wedding ceremonies, honeymoon destinations and home furnishing – but not on marriage itself. Sadly enough, the truth is that less than one fifth of all marriages in America are preceded by some kind of formal marriage preparation. (These findings are based on telephone interviews with 1,037 adults, age eighteen and above. The survey was conducted between September 24 and October 9, 1988. Errors attributable to various samples could affect the percentage.)

Did you know that the hot points in marriage are wrongly blamed on in-laws, money and sex? Actually misunderstandings basically result from poor communication. How do you communicate with your beloved? Through acts of service, physical touch, kind words, quality time or gift giving? How does your partner communicate their love to you? Are you able to recognize the primary way your beloved expresses love? Dr. Gary Chapman has written an exciting series of books on “The Five Love Languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate.” It’s a fabulous series of books, and it’s all about communication.

Men and women, as I’m sure you know, communicate differently, but we also listen differently. When men hear about issues or problem, they want to fix. What women hear about, they want to explore, talk about it. Your beloved may just need to vent when she’s talking with you; she simply needs you to listen. Her beloved offers ideas and solutions to the assumed problem. She wants to share while he wants to share as well, just in another way. Both ways are gifts, but are you able to understand that? Have you been taught to be a reflective listener? Not only is it a great way to let your beloved know you are listening by repeating exactly what you “hear”, but it also defuses potential conflicts. By repeating back to your beloved exactly what you heard, you will be able to think about the words (not the emotion used to say them) and repeat word for word. Your beloved will probably respond, well I didn’t mean it the way you took it. You, as a literal person, will respond, and rightly so, but that’s what you said. Then communication becomes an integral part of your conversation.

Anyway, after the bouquet is caught and tuxedos are returned couples assume they’re headed for marital bliss. You may be headed for marital bliss if you know how to address issues that married life produces. Bliss can be found in so many ways if you only have the skills to recognize it; and premarital education can do that for you and your beloved.

If you happen to live in the State of Texas, there is a great program sponsored by Twogether in Texas (I am a registered provider for this service.). If you take a minimum of eight hours of premarital education, you will receive not only great tools to use during all phases of your marriage but also a certificate to present to the County Clerk’s office that will give you $60.00 off your marriage license. What a deal…save your marriage before it starts and a license to boot.

Bright Blessings,
Rev. Cindy

No Comments / Tags: beloved, couple, couples, education, explore, fix, Love, man, Marriage, premarital education, premaritla, Wedding, weddings, woman / Posted in Sunday Posts

I’m just not ready for love…

August 28th, 2011 by revcindy

Love The One You’re With

So many people tell me they got burned in their last relationship, which they thought was based on love, so they’re just not ready for another one. Or, they must not be lovable because they’re unable to make someone love them or maintain love for them.

What I hear when someone tells me that is they aren’t willing or able to love themselves. I believe you will not be able to receive love until you accept that you personally are loving, lovable and loved…because you are. If you’re mean, love yourself as mean. If you’re hateful, love yourself as hateful. If you’re giving, love yourself as giving. If you’ve made ‘bad’ choices that have created ‘issues’ in your life, love as a ‘bad’ choice maker. You see where I’m going with this…simply love yourself no matter what. We can change our behavior and those patterns we have created for ourselves that have brought forward life events that aren’t so pleasant, but, we must love ourselves throughout the process. Love ourselves no matter what.

All our relationships are based on what we feel about ourselves. (Main word in that sentence is ‘feel’.) Feelings change and are not constant. I feel your love for me today but do you remember in February of 2010 you were such a jerk that we ended our vacation early. I appreciate your kindness today, but last week you treated me liked I didn’t even exist. Like I said, feelings change and since there are no constant ‘feelings’ they really aren’t the best choice to go by when making a decision about love (or anything else). I feel no one loves me therefore I not lovable. Wrong…you are lovable…

Most of us have been told by our parents or those who raised us (raised is a funny word to use for humans growing up like we’re cotton, chickens or green beans) that the things we did as children/adolescent/teen/young adult/adult were: bad, stupid, ignorant, shameful, wrong, hateful, only the good go to heaven and if you don’t watch out you’ll go to hell, and you are such an idiot. Those things stay with us, they are stored on a cellular level, and when an incident around us is similar to a particular situation in which we were called stupid, we feel stupid and maybe even act stupid because it’s a stored pattern. Like going to the grocery story, it’s the same brand we choose each time even though it costs us more than a brand we’re not used to. So we keep choosing the same same brand because it’s familiar. Choosing those stored patterns instead of exploring a new one, folks, costs us.

Come on now, admit it. How in the world are we supposed to love ourselves when we’ve been told for at least 20-years of our lives we’ll never amount to a hill-of-beans? How in the world have we made it this far?

Because of Love. That Universal Principle that gives life to everything…Love. It’s the common thread that embraces the Universe. Not just us here on Earth, but the entire Universe. Dark Energy, Dark Matter, Galaxies, Black Holes, Stars, Suns, Planet, ET’s are bound to us by Love.

It’s what makes being human ROCK!

The only constant is Love. It’s the thread that connects us ; therefore, connects us to every-thing. It’s what keeps you looking, searching for the right-one even if you feel stupid or ugly or whatever it is. We keep searching…we keep searching and looking for Love not knowing Love is right here all the time. It’s really the only thing that truly exists…we’re simply an extension.

So folks, as Stephen Stills sang in his 1970′s hit song “Love the One You’re With”, learn to love yourself FIRST because you are the one you’re always with. Love resides right here. Not a feeling, not a thing, It’s Love.

Rev Cindy Choosing Love

Bright Blessings,
Rev. Cindy

No Comments / Tags: Choice, Love, Marriage, Relationships / Posted in Sunday Posts

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Native Texas Weddings

From Love To Love For Love

Greetings Lovers!

Magical or Tragical Wedding?

Love Language of Words of Affirmation

Language of Love: Physical Touch

Expectancy and Expectations

Joys of Premarital Education

I’m just not ready for love…

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